Warning: The rest of today's update is even geekier than usual. Skip for your safety!
At work, we've been using Microsoft's Media Services to supply audio feeds. Now, the Powers that Be want a way to monitor those connections without having to learn the NT performance monitor, preferably via a web page. So, I peek at the new SDK on the MSDN Windows Media site. Amazingly, they provide code samples for log file processing in VBScript and Perl.
First, I looked at the Perl. Although it works, check out this train of thought:
# Calculate date and time
# Date is in log entries so use that
$f[$Mapping{'date'}] =~ /(dddd)-(dd)-(dd)/;
$Year = $1;
$Month = $2;
$Day = $3;
$Date = sprintf("%02d%02d%02d", $Year, $Month, $Day);
$f[$Mapping{'time'}] =~ /(dd):(dd):(dd)/;
$Hour = $1;
$Minute = $2;
$Second = $3;
$Time = sprintf("%02d%02d%02d", $Hour, $Minute, $Second);
$DateTime = "$Date$Time";
# -- snip --
$NewestRecord =~ /(dddd)(dd)(dd)(dd)(dd)(dd)/;
printf("$1-$2-$3 $4:$5:$6
");
Utter stupidity. Let's take it all apart, then put it all back together again! Also frightening is this bit of duplication and Navaho pattern matching:
# Make sure no backslashes in URL
($f[$Mapping{'cs-uri-stem'}] = $f[$Mapping{'cs-uri-stem'}]) =~ tr /\\////;
Oh, the pain. But it gets worse; remember that VBScript program? Well, if I had to pick a single oddity... one of their loops reminded me of the old assembly unrolling trick. It's too long to post here, but it fit in nicely on my content-free domain.
[11/12/1999]
Google oddity: I noticed after searching for some folks' home pages that the majority of name searches return this content-free page, often in the top ten hits. Examples: My name, my pop's name, Jody Hamilton, Scott Hobart, Paul Ackerman, etc... any common name seems to return that page. Why? Because each state listing of lobbyists has a huge list of names, largely pointing at that "no certification" page. Is this smart indexing? I think it could be taken advantage of by spamming pages full of crosslinks, and paying a few people to link to your site for "relevancy".
[11/12/1999]
So you shouldn't buy from Unamerican. Where are you going to get happy T-shirts? How about you make yer own durn punk shirt!
Well, I already have one like that so I asked Jeeves. Curious results, those. Especially odd is the response from the Where can I buy t-shirts online? question. I'm sorry, I can't answer that, Dave.
Back to Yahoo categories. I'm dead serious about finding someplace to print up graphics on shirts for small runs, and have been looking for quite some time.
Be a professional, you dork.
Or, link to file:///C pages, with a fancy image map. I can think of a thousand better things to do with the traces.com domain.
But dude, they do custom temporary tattoos! Now I can be a punk rocker and not frighten my mother.
There's something about lizards and custom printing; this one blinks at me, and here we have Puff the Magic Dragon all growed-up like.
I like imagemap intros, how bout you? Perhaps you'd prefer Java?
It's all worth the load times when you look at their products. Ooh ooh! I want me a custom Pokey the Penguin ice scraper, and I don't even own a vehicle!
XactImage: For the discriminating Renaissance painter who just isn't reaching a wide enough market.
All that, and I am probably still going to be forced to settle on Mymug.com for custom 1 or 2 shirt runs. If you've ever done T screen printing, give me a holler.
[11/10/1999]
What a big mess about Unamerican.
I bought a few T-shirts from that guy, mainly because I thought they were funny; not because I wanted to be "punk". I also got two stickers: "Pigs vs. People" and "You're all Sheep", both for the swell irony value. Hee hee! He was nice enough to send about 2 jillion "F*ck Work" stickers, which went in the garbage. I think that's the wrong way to look at things, but I also think that the sheer weight of the marketing propaganda flying from that guy is hilarious in itself.
The article breaks the sloganeering down very nicely. I had no idea he tried to convince homeless people to sell his swag. She is nasty about it, but right. I am not punk, he is not punk, and he is probably going to get ripped to shreds over it. Get your ironic goods elsewhere!
[11/09/1999]
More blatant ripping from the happily resurrected Bring the Rock: Signal Drench's Review of a September Euphone and Don Caballero show. Fact: I had no idea Mike Banfield was no longer playing with them! This is news. Although Ian was probably the anchor for their incredibly strange talking guitar section, Mike had been with them from For Respect. The opening riff combination on that album still gets me jumping up and down madly.
I popped in some Storm&Stress after hearing the news Ian was now also alone in guitar duty for Don Cab. Now, if you followed the directions above you should be listening to the first bits and pieces of Threnodies, so you realize this is not normal rock and roll. It smacks of jazz, with power rock trio instrumentation; the kind of stuff I love. While not able to fully immerse myself in the jazz world, avant noise jazz is a small enough (?) genre to explore.
Wandering back on the train of thought, I recall hearing a new album rumor. So, after some searching, it turns out Sturm und Drang has a semi official site. Unfortunately, it seems to be a contender for the upcoming Defunct Rock crown since it hasn't updated for 10 months. Worth visiting just for the rambling explanation from the band:
Riffs give off a sense of understanding to the listener, whether it says, "I, the riff, believe in a lot of things," or "I, the melody, am very wise and know a lot." These aren't dumb riffs; its just a case of them knowing about themselves, doubling over, and then freezing...I think it has the effect of Shalom Harlow or Amber Valetta in the (beauty)* magazines. The first step is the statement of self. The second step is total destruction. People will have an easy time relating to this nihilism because it segues nicely with the past 20 years or so of punk rock, something I think everybody is pretty down with. One minute you're just saying, "I feel", or "I like to dance...", and next you're splayed out all over the floor.
I don't know how helpful the "recent news" sidebar is in reporting a new record out this fall, when it says the April tour dates will be up soon. However, an interview without Ian redeems the site as a fount of laughter. I just have to pullquote this bit from Kevin Shea:
Interviewer: according to jane magazine, one could live on $49.50 worth of food without double coupons for a week, could you sustain for less on alcohol?
Kevin:the 2 times i drank in my life, i noticed i was bored and sad to begin with and felt worse in the end. when i'm sad now, i look at bunny rabbits or draw pictures of frog's with antlers, or find twigs to hold...then i am quickly happy and enjoying myself
That's right kids, drinking is bad. I hope you enjoyed your (re)introduction to Storm&Stress.
[11/08/1999]
