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      .-=""=-.        | unmitigated  -\   -|--,  /---|--|-  .\    / 
    .'\__/  \_\       | irrelevant  / \\  ||  / // \ || ||  |\\  /  
   /__/  \__/  \__.oo | anti-news  /___\\ ||_/ //___\|| ||__| \\/   
._/___\__/__\__(____/ | episodic  /     \\||  //     \| ||  |  V    
   /__|/   \|__\   `  | orchard  /       V    V               /     
______________________|_________/____________________________/
                               /                                    
 what? / email / ascii links  /              .-.     . .,._
_____________________________/      .~.    .'   ' .,. .'   ' .
                            /       '.'._.'O'\_/ ' .''  .. ''.,.
 old archives: chip music  /          -._'. . .  .,.' .'. '. '".
 lewis carroll / opinion  /               .'/_,.     . . '  ) '.
 asciigames / dead rock  /           '-.,:-"    ''-.: .'.' l  .'
 voicemail / j.s. bach  /                     .. '.,.  .,.-'  .
 eigen* ........other  /                     '  \....      ,.'
                      /                            \.....-'
_____________________/


             __________________________________________________________
            |                                                          |
 01/29/2000 |   Post his likeness in the local station                 |
            |__________________________________________________________|
            |                                                          |
  settle in |                                                          |
     french |   Soient: U R S T                                        |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
    just so |                                                          |
       plum |   TextNES: Emulator for  terminals.   Almost playable,   |
            |   although any  text  is  rendered  useless  in an odd   |
            |   twist  of  fate.   No   screenshot,  so  here's   me   |
            |   attempting  to play Zelda.  Note  the  4T4T3F in the   |
            |   upper right; those are my hearts.  Lost one.           |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
 five times |                                                          |
   the bend |   A sound card with hardware mp3 acceleration?  In the   |
            |   Live  line?   Hadn't  heard  about that.   The Sound   |
            |   Blaster link 404s.  I'll buy that for a dollar.        |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
    sniping |                                                          |
   from the |   Later, in  a weaker  moment,  I catch myself           |
 gallery of |     anguishing  over  phantoms; something more           |
  every day |          is needed:  a violent, divine convulsion        |
            |   A strange   form  of success                           |
            |              that  re-arranges the world;                |
            |      so, pile on  the    abuse.                          |
            |   Off I'll  go,  howling at        the world             |
            |          never  sacrificing    levity                    |
            |        in the  pursuit of                                |
            |   clarity...  re-assembling    the nonsense              |
            |         one  light-hearted moment                        |
            |       at a  time.                                        |
            |   [ thanks again for phrasing it so well, craw ]         |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
the healing |                                                          |
   power of |   Don't  bother with the  Dog Test  or the Four-Letter   |
      links |   Word personality test.   Go straight to  the source:   |
            |   Scientology's Personality Test                         |
            |   "Sick all the time?  Maybe you  have a disease-prone   |
            |   personality."                                          |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
   work the |                                                          |
        way |   Tin_omen  is  now  hiding  out   at Desktopian.org -   |
            |   highly  recommended  if  you  enjoy   tweaking  your   |
            |   interfaces.   Today,  he  pointed  at  Crank  Inc.'s   |
            |   CrankIRC... a  transparent IRC client for  Windows.    |
            |   Pointless yet tasty.                                   |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
 just leave |                                                          |
            |   Now  that  I  have insta-feedback,  in  addition  to   |
            |   posting useless stuff at  the end  of each  entry, I   |
            |   will ask useless questions.  If nobody reads 'em, at   |
            |   least I know what I don't know.                        |
question of |                                                          |
    the day |   Did you ever  play that game where you are  a little   |
            |   ship  going down  the screen passing through smaller   |
            |   and more  jagged tunnels as time progresses?  Anyone   |
            |   know  what  it was  called?   The "landscape"  would   |
            |   scroll  up, giving the  illusion that  your car-ship-  |
            |   thing  was delving  into  the  earth.  As things got   |
            |   faster  and more crooked, you had to steer  left and   |
            |   right to avoid crashing into the walls.                |
  begin the |                                                          |
     stream |   Chuck E. Cheese used to  have  a game like that,  in   |
            |   reverse.  It was  free to  play, and somewhat dopey;   |
            |   drive your boat up the  stream!  I recall playing it   |
            |   for hours unending.                                    |
rem ini sce |                                                          |
        nce |   While looking for the official Chuck E. Cheese site,   |
            |   the  Adventures  of Chuck E. Cheese  shows up  as  a   |
            |   prominent  hit.  Ultra  bizarre Chuck  E. stories, a   |
            |   bit over the  top... don't miss  "When  I  Met Billy   |
            |   Bob" and "Late Night with Chuck E. Cheese."            |
       otoh |                                                          |
            |   Actually, the official site's Fun Station  hosts the   |
            |   plenty odd Galaxy 5000. [flash, frames, fire]          |
            |                                                          |
            |__________________________________________________________|


 Font size not working for you?  Please fill in the feedback box above.
             __________________________________________________________
            |                                                          |
 01/27/2000 |   Have no heart                                          |
            |__________________________________________________________|
            |                                                          |
  standards |   Pokey Personal Proxy/Mirror Protocol [PPP/M] will be   |
            |   handy for synchronizing your  Pokey  collection, and   |
            |   doing  other   strange  and  wondrous  things  while   |
            |   waiting for new strips.                                |
      pokey |                                                          |
  search is |   Finally,  it  has  returned;  now  I  can  find   my   |
    back!!! |   favorites again and annoy you.                         |
            |                                                          |
            |   HELLO MR NUTTY I AM A SUGAR PLUM FAIRY!!!              |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
  let these |                                                          |
 mp3s be an |   John Vanderslice himself poked me  in the gut, I had   |
 example to |   been meaning to link this  for quite some time after   |
    you and |   Nick pointed it out.  You  people need to  go listen   |
      yours |   to  some of Tiny  Telephone's mp3s... wait,  scratch   |
            |   that  "some"  part.   They're  all  incredible,  and   |
            |   highly  fortuitous as  I'm starting to get  that pop   |
            |   itch.  Everybody say, "Thanks John !"                  |
  even more |                                                          |
       nice |   The  Folk  Implosion  (who  seem to  have  surpassed   |
  musicians |   Sebadoh in fun-factor) also  have a very  personable   |
            |   web  site.   The bio section details what they  went   |
            |   through  for  their  most  recent  album,  and  even   |
            |   includes mp3s of the  early song  fragments.   Then,   |
            |   some  of their  site functions  in that  exploratory   |
            |   absurd   manner    made  famous   by   superbad -- I   |
            |   especially  enjoyed this graphic, which made me jump   |
            |   at first.  The merchandise page is humorous as well.   |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
            |   Warning: Update is geekier from here down.             |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
submit from |                                                          |
  the other |   Swell!   The  blind  link box  is picking up  lint.    |
       side |   Thanks,  dear reader-folk.  I'm finding it handy  to   |
            |   post  things for  later revue from remote machines.    |
            |   Now it's  at the top, as  well  as a respond box for   |
            |   quick feedback.  Everyone should have one!  Idea via   |
            |   Doctah Chess.                                          |
            |                                                          |
            |                                                          |
 blab... it |                                                          |
      falls |   Let's  hear  it  for idiot scripting.  Justification   |
   together |   should be functioning perfectly now, and I even have   |
            |   hyphenation  chugging  like one  of  those fancy new-  |
            |   fangled steam-engines. This is definitely the way to   |
            |   put  these many years of text processing  algorithms   |
            |   to uselessness.  [Yesterday's failure was caused  by   |
            |   an out-of-context list.  Silly me.]                    |
            |                                                          |
            |   Curious as to format?  Today's text, the way I typed   |
            |   it pre-filter.  Makes sense to me, at least.           |
            |                                                          |
            |__________________________________________________________|
 
FYI, Yahoo! Mail is malfunctioning, or has been for a week.
<dgfitch@yahoo.com>... Deferred: Connection reset by mx2.mail.yahoo.com.
Message could not be delivered for 3 days
Message will be deleted from queue
Reporting-MTA: dns; elmls01.ce.mediaone.net

             ______________________________________________________ 
 01/27/2000 |   Clock tick tock, short short long
            |   
             ______________________________________________________ 
            |   
   stranger |   Some Malkovich from the absurdist Malkovich
    avenues |   Translator brings me to the fantastic Web Access Gateway.  It's a
      taken |   wrapper script for functions that allow easier access for
            |   those visually impaired.  Also nice for good,
            |   old-fashioned EMBIGGENING.
            |   
            |   Malkovich.
            |   
            |   
            |   
  malkovich |   Spam, interpreted as text
            |   /-  --|   /  |--/  /-
            |   : :  ::  :+:  ://:  : :
            |   -/  |--  /   /--|  -/
            |   
            |   
            |   
        irc |   <wetlog> it's true, being complimented by bloat is like 
            |            being whipped to death by dental floss
            |   
            |   
            |   
        are |   Today's MP3 theme: Non-metal takes on metal
        you |   
      ready |   Starflyer 59's Americana album [the red one] is a smart
         to |   satire of glam rock and big metal, in a shoegazing format.
       rawk |   Jason Martin and company have since moved on to poppier
            |   territory, but the tracks on this disc have a charm all their own.
          # |   Starflyer 59 - The Translator.mp3
          # |   Starflyer 59 - You Don't Miss Me.mp3
            |   
            |   Iceburn is that strange rock/jazz collective from out in
            |   Utah-land.  Before they added the double saxophones and the
            |   tendency to completely drop traditional song
            |   structures, Gentry and his pals made Hephaestus.  It's a concept
            |   album of a sort, about smithing and Greek legend and all that;
            |   made in a three-man rock band format that steals from old
            |   Black Sabbath while adding its own slow, grinding crunch.  The
            |   first song is split over many tracks, so each word after the
            |   colon denotes another piece.  Listen in order for maximum
            |   sense.
          # |   Iceburn - Iron: Fe I Caravan I' Fuse Still
            |   
            |   
            |   
      props |   Should mention that Andrew rox.  He fixed my chip music.  You
            |   should use Pitas.
            |   
            |
            |
            |   Looks like my Perl formatter didn't quite 
            |   wrap right.  Darn.  It was faster, though.
            |



             ______________________________________________________ 
 01/26/2000 |   The light of the light of the light of the light of
            |   

             ______________________________________________________ 
            |
 I am saved |   Plan your date, or your college career... with ICQ!
            |
            |
            |
 *highfive* |   Welcome back or something, Departure.
            |   I like having my back licked.
            |
            |
            |
      nerd  |   Ars reviews the 750 Athlon
     greed  |   droooooooooooooooooooooool...
            |   The all-important Q3A test:
            |   With a GEForce, the box did 60 fps in 1024x768@HQ.
            |
            |   On that note...
    complex |   Is hardware t+l going to last when games get
     worlds |   much deeper into detail?  
            |
            |
            |
 5.6 = good |   Dig that revamped Vim page!
            |
            |
            |
       just |   Windows is the most widely used operating system.
   guessing |   The unspoken laws of probability tell me you're
       here |   probably using it now.  Use OLEviewer to see just 
            |   how messed up the internal structure is.
            |   (One of you Linux people needs to try this in WINE)
            |
            |
            |
       /var |   Nabbed the Galaxie 500 boxed set recently.  Gets 
       /tmp |   the Apathy Thumbs Up, that's for sure.  I would have
       /mp3 |   encoded some of the unreleased G500 tracks, but
            |   every time I stuck the disc in my computer, it froze
            |   until I removed it.  So instead, you get my current
            |   favorite, from the glorious On Fire record:
   soothing |   Galaxie 500 - Tell Me.mp3 [3.7mb]
            |
            |   To fill the hole, I thought I would log what songs
            |   are currently stuck in my head so I can look back
            |   someday and laugh.  When walking home from work
            |   today, these two managed to somehow mangle and
   synchrod |   combine into one continuous catch.
            |
            |   If you usually avoid songs I label "punk", nab this
            |   anyway.  It's just a fast pop song with simple 
            |   instrumentation.  And those nananas will lodge in 
            |   your cortex wond'rously:
  punky pop |   MxPx - Destroyed By You.mp3 [2.5mb]
            |
            |   This other song stuck in my noggin is by Silkworm,
            |   the odd band from the Pacific Northwest.  Don't 
            |   mind the sheep at the beginning; it's straightforward 
            |   rock and roll with that patented Skwm mixed-vocal.
            |   Catchy part would be the chorus about 2 minutes in:
  echo rock |   Silkworm - Slipstream.mp3 [4.6mb]
            |
            |   "Like a silly little dayay-dream..."
            |
            |   Since these are on my home machine, I make no
            |   guarantees.  You know where to yell if there
            |   are problems.
            |
            |
            |
       here |   Less graph paper, more evil subjugation of Perl
         he |   required.  Unfortunately, I tripped over an old
       goes |   tarfile of all my old junk and spent hours staring
      again |   blankly at it.  Mayhap I shall dust some off
    talking |   sometime and point at my bad art.  After I've
         to |   removed all the terribly obvious underhanded
   the wall |   slogging on the old employer. cough
            |
            |



             ______________________________________________________ 
 01/25/2000 |   You are ignoring me
            |   
            |   
            |   
        nit |   Random House says, "never say spokesman; say 
       writ |   flight attendant!"  So now it's "Office of the  
            |   Flight Attendant for the Secretary-General"
            |   
            |   
            |   
 pleasehelp |   Simulating a universe, volunteers needed.
            |   
            |   
            |   
   unsolved |   How do they make computer games fun?
    mystery |   Nobody really knows.
            |   
            |   
            |   
     BACON! |   An artist's conception makes sense to eggs!
            |   
            |   
            |   
        /me |   Some of these entries were inspired by chiplog.
      shuts |   Can you tell which ones?  [hint: not this one]
         up |   Wish I was that enigmatic. [hint: true]
            |   
            |   
            |   
  opinions. |   Almostcool.org reviews music.
         on |   (one of those "why haven't I seen this?" pages)
     review |   
            |   Red Snapper - Making Bones
            |   [heard good things, haven't heard em... someone?]
            |   
            |   Bowery Electric - Beat [drone beat sleep]
            |   Dirty Three - Ocean Songs [fiddle strum sleep]
            |   
  ausgesund |   Trans Am - Futureworld [one of those rare nails]
            |   
            |   GYBE r00lZ Do0dZ A!@#!#11!!
            |   f#a#infinity and Slow Riot For New Zero Kanada
 hint: true |   are both worth paying for in limbs.
            |   
            |   Hum - Downward Is Heavenward Biased Fact Revue:
            |   It isn't their second album.  Best one, though.
            |   
     subdue |   Mogwai EP+2
            |   "Do not be afraid, these are quite mellow and 
            |   will not bite you," said the fisherman.  Yell if you want MP3 samples.
            |   
            |   
            |   [note to self: this is too hard]
            |   
            |   


___________________________________________________________________ 
   !t y  t  |
 dd@f! k u  |   Eh?  This is the log of a faceless entity.  Me.
 usnngnll s |   I wander around the web, and point out what are
kr @gdqnvn  |   most likely completely useless things for you
  gx@dfwmd  |   to visit.  It's where I have been, what I learned
 j zvhlx0lk |   there, and what I plan to figure out in the
b yqrccnh   |   future.  All in the palm of your hand.
 pu @g ccgs |
  wjp jng   |   Technically speaking, this is a "weblog".  There
p t q0w gl  |   are many weblogs.  You can probably find one that
  q    r k  |   suits your tastes pretty closely, but if not you
 r !r 0q  u |   can use the pitas system to track
  v j  p0   |   yourself.
      x   s |
____________|______________________________________________________ 

 Dan Fitch dgfitch@yahoo.com / ICQ 363803
___________________________________________________________________ 


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